Online coaching
Make room for who you are, without continually putting yourself last
Perhaps you are used to being strong, carrying responsibility and considering the needs of others. From the outside, you may appear to function well, while privately becoming less certain about what you want for yourself. You may overthink, try to keep everyone satisfied or feel guilty when you choose your own needs.
Safar Lifestyle Coaching gives you space to explore who you are, which patterns may be holding you back and which choices genuinely fit you. Through personal coaching, genuine attention and respect for your background, identity and life story, I help you understand yourself more clearly and move forward more consciously.
When adapting becomes a habit
You can take excellent care of others and gradually lose sight of yourself
Many people who may benefit from coaching appear strong and responsible from the outside. They are used to solving problems, working hard and being available to others. As a result, it can take a long time to recognise how much energy is spent meeting expectations, avoiding conflict or trying to do everything perfectly.
You may find it difficult to say no, even when something has become too much. You may understand what other people need while struggling to recognise your own needs. You can be loyal, caring and committed while noticing that your wishes continually move further into the background.
Coaching may be helpful when you:
- Keep returning to the same patterns
- Find it difficult to set boundaries or say no
- Continually put yourself aside or sacrifice your needs for others
- Feel guilty when choosing for yourself
- Carry significant responsibility and lose sight of your own needs
- Struggle with your identity or self-image
- Find it difficult to make autonomous choices
- Struggle with perfectionism, self-doubt or procrastination
- Feel at risk of becoming overwhelmed by prolonged stress
- Feel stuck in work, relationships or important decisions
- Feel caught between cultural, family or social expectations
- Are navigating migration, a new stage of life or another major transition
You do not need to have a perfectly defined question before beginning. The first conversation can help clarify what is really happening and what may need your attention.
Coaching with psychological depth
Looking beyond what you do to understand why you do it
The way you think, feel and respond did not develop in isolation. Experiences, relationships, upbringing, culture and expectations can influence how you see yourself and how you position yourself in relation to others.
You may have learned that you must remain strong, avoid conflict or take care of everyone else first. These patterns may once have been useful. Later, they can make it difficult to set boundaries, make independent choices or recognise what you genuinely want.
Our conversations therefore focus not only on what you would like to change, but also on what may lie beneath the visible difficulty. Why does a particular situation affect you so strongly? Why does saying no feel so difficult? Why do you continue to doubt yourself even when, rationally, you may already know what you want?
My perspective is psychodynamic. I pay attention to the relationship between your current situation, earlier experiences, relationships and recurring patterns. At the same time, coaching remains practical. Insight becomes valuable when it helps you see differently, make more conscious choices and take meaningful action.
There is also room for humour. Humour can create breathing space and help us look at difficult subjects from a different perspective. It is never used to minimise your experience, but it can sometimes make a difficult subject more manageable.
How I work
Personal, honest and free from quick standard solutions
Every person has a different history, character, culture and pace. I therefore do not use one fixed formula for everyone. I listen, ask questions, share what I notice and help you recognise connections that may not yet be fully visible to you.
My observations are not absolute truths. I invite you to explore what feels accurate, what does not and what may help you move forward. Coaching is not a process in which I decide which direction you should take. It is a collaboration that helps you understand yourself more clearly and take greater ownership of your choices.
In our conversations, you can expect:
- Genuine attention and involvement
- An open and non-judgemental approach
- Attention to emotions and recurring patterns
- Respect for culture, identity and personal values
- Psychological depth combined with practical next steps
- Honesty, reflection and humour where appropriate
- Attention to both vulnerability and personal strengths
- Space to reflect and develop at your own pace
About Hicham
Coach and founder of Safar Lifestyle Coaching
My name is Hicham Berkhli. I was born and raised in Eindhoven in the Netherlands and have a Dutch-Moroccan background.
I trained and am professionally registered in the Netherlands as a psychotherapist and Dutch healthcare psychologist. I have more than seventeen years of experience in different organisations and settings within Dutch mental healthcare, including intercultural mental healthcare. I later became a co-founder of InterGGZ in Amsterdam.
These qualifications, registrations and years of experience form part of my professional background. Through Safar Lifestyle Coaching, however, I work exclusively as a coach. I do not provide psychotherapy, psychological diagnosis, medical treatment or mental healthcare through this website.
My experience has taught me how important it is to look beyond the visible difficulty. I am curious about who someone is, where certain patterns may have developed and what that person needs to experience movement again.
I do not want to determine someone else’s path. I help people understand themselves more clearly so they can choose their own direction more consciously.
Start with one individual session
Gain clarity first, then decide what you need
You do not have to commit to a long-term programme. You can begin with one individual coaching session. During that conversation, we explore what you are facing, what you would like to change and which first step may be appropriate.
You may want to set clearer boundaries, act less from guilt or understand your own needs more clearly. You may want to understand why you repeatedly find yourself in the same pattern. The first conversation can help clarify your question and identify a direction that fits you.
Sometimes one conversation provides sufficient clarity. If you decide that you would like to continue, we can arrange a follow-up session together. You are not automatically committed to a package or long-term programme.
Coaching takes place online, allowing you to join from a quiet location where you can speak freely and privately.
Coaching or treatment?
Coaching serves a different purpose from psychotherapy
Services provided through Safar Lifestyle Coaching are offered exclusively as coaching. The focus is on self-understanding, personal development, choices, goals, autonomy and personal growth.
Coaching is not medical, psychological or psychotherapeutic treatment. It does not include psychological diagnosis and is not provided as mental healthcare.
If it becomes clear that your needs would be better addressed through psychological, psychiatric or other medical treatment, I will be honest about this and recommend seeking appropriate professional care. Clear professional boundaries are an essential part of responsible coaching.
You may not need to know the entire route yet
One conversation may be enough to explore where you are now, what you need and which direction genuinely fits you.